The Siberian American: The Hardest Post I’ve Ever Written

Friday, May 6, 2016

The Hardest Post I’ve Ever Written

I have tried to be as honest and authentic as possible on my blog, and lately, I have failed. As much as I love blogging about life and travel, it’s been hard to have the energy to write when for the last few months, I’ve had days where I was in so much pain, I had to work all day from my bed.

Even though I have a blog, I have always been a private person. Only a handful of friends know I blog, and I have only recently told my family. That’s why it’s been so hard to share details about my health.

That said, I love the blog community and have been so thankful for the support I have received. Chris has also encouraged me to share with y’all, so here goes nothing.


What’s going on:
I have a massive endometrioma (ovarian cyst) taking over the left half of my body. It is currently over 18 cm. and has pushed the organs from the left side of my body to my right side. It’s also pushing down on my kidneys and bladder.

How I feel:
Other than the fact that I look 18 months pregnant when I’m not, I have crazy back pain on the left side of my body. I sometimes have a hard time walking short distances.

What’s next: 
Here’s where it really gets complicated. I’m going to have to have a complex surgery with the possibility of several types of surgeons involved. My doctor here said she couldn’t do it until mid-June, but she doesn’t think I could handle driving in a car to Texas a few weeks later. Her suggestion is to wait and have the surgery when we move back to Texas. I’m hesitant because it means we have to find new doctors (which means a waiting period), wait until our insurance starts (July 1), and we would have to start over on my deductible (which really stinks after paying for an MRI). Plus, it means the cyst can continue to grow in my body, and I have to deal with the pain (and the small possibility of a rupture or a torsion) for several more months.

It’s not an ideal situation. The silver lining is that if I do have the surgery in Texas, both sets of our parents will be close enough to help me. Right now, it’s hard, but I believe God has a plan, and someday I will look back on this time and see how He guided me through it.

As for now, I hope to keep blogging. I’m a little slower on responding to comments these days, but I promise I will get to them all. Thank you so much for your encouragement as I go through this season.

48 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Sending so much love to you in this very difficult time. So glad they know what it is though. I will be keeping you in my prayers, Olya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your support, Nicole! I truly appreciate it.

      Delete
  2. Oh my goodness Olya I'm so sorry! I can't imagine having to deal with something that makes you in so much pain but also not knowing when you'll be able to have the surgery to take the cyst out! And then on top of that all of the medical insurance stuff! My thoughts and prayers are still with you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Olya! I had no idea, my heart goes out to you. I don't know what it's like to experience that, so I only can send wishes and prayers to you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Olya... I'm so sorry! I know ovarian issues can be so painful and scary sometimes. My best friend has endometriosis and she's seen quite a few doctors over the course of her life. I've definitely been praying for you and I will continue to do so! Stay strong lady- there's a plan in place for you and you will most certainly come out 10xs stronger and happier!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending you hugs and prayers! Please keep us updated. Wishing you the best!

    Ashley
    acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am so sorry to hear this! Unfortunately I know about ovarian cysts all too well, I've had two surgeries in the past 5 years to remove them, my last one being almost the size of a grapefruit. Obviously not nearly as big as yours though, I'm so sorry you're having all those horrible effects! I really hope everything works out and you get the best care in the world, you deserve to start feeling better ASAP!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so sorry, Olya. I'll definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you deal with pain, doctors, insurance, etc. I think having parents around for things like this makes everything better, so it's good you get to go to Texas first. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but just hang in there and know that you have many prayers headed your way!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Olya I am so so sorry that you are dealing with this...I can't imagine the pain that you are in but I am praying for you and a speedy recovery once you do have the surgery. I know that I might be in Boston and you're in Chicago/Texas, but if there is anything I can do for you...please let me know! Sending so many prayers your way sweet girl!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am so sorry. I hope you're able to find great doctors in Texas and have a smooth procedure. And it sounds like you'll have a lot of people to help you out with both sets of parents there! I will keep you in my thoughts. <3 And definitely don't worry about response time on the blogging front. We all understand and we will be here to support you no matter what!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh my goodness. I have been worried about you and this is truly a scary situation. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this and that you have to resort to surgery because of how serious it has gotten. It would almost have been better for a tiny one to rupture, right? Throw back a few vicodin and be better a couple of days later? How awful for you. I'll be praying for you and Chris and your doctors as you decide what to do next.

    The photo of you is gorgeous, by the way <3

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm so sorry you've been dealing with such a painful medical condition. July definitely seems like a long time to wait when you are so uncomfortable. I hope that you will be able to take things day by day and please know that I am sending you prayers for comfort from Texas.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm terribly sorry that you've been dealing with this girl. Prayers going out to you that everything turns out ok!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am so so sorry that you're dealing with this and I cannot imagine how much pain you must be in. The whole insurance/doctor/deductible thing makes me so annoyed because the last thing you need right now is to worry about logistics. I hope everything turns out just fine and it is all behind you sooner rather than later <3

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm so sorry that this is happening, and I hope it can be resolved as quickly as possible and without your pain getting much worse.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sending you the biggest *hugs* and lots of prayers sweet friend! I'm so sorry you've been battling something so uncomfortable and scary for so long, but I'm glad to hear you'll find some relief in the coming months. I hope you guys make the right decision on where to have the surgery, and being back at home with both sets of parents close by to help with recovery will be a great bonus. Definitely keep us updated, and know you're in our thoughts <3
    Green Fashionista

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you! I hope you find the solution that works the best. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be do have to deal with planning out something that is causing you so much pain. I have a cyst currently on one of my ovaries, but it seems to be small and doctors are just keeping an eye on it. I feel like even this small one may be the cause of my pain while running, so I feel for you going through one so much bigger. I will be thinking of you guys, and I'm glad you were able to tell us. Sending good thoughts your way that things go better.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow, I'm so sorry! I can't even begin to imagine how hard this has been for you guys. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. I wish you two the best! You're in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your support and well wishes, Marette! :)

      Delete
  19. Oh no, lovely. I can appreciate your "silver lining". Having the surgery in Texas with both sets of parents there would be helpful and comforting. I will send some good vibes and prayers your way!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh honey I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It sounds so painful but happy to hear you have a good support system :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Bless your heart! I am so sorry to hear about this. My mom had a massive ovarian cyst a few years ago. She kept thinking for months she was just bloated, but each day was more painful and she looked huge (even though she is a really small person). Hers was so big, she lost 10 lbs immediately after surgery. Praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh, dear Olya! I'm so sorry you and you're family are going through this very tough time in your life. I pray that y'all emerge from this setback stronger than ever! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Jae! I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. :)

      Delete
  23. Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear about your pain, Olya :( I hope it ends up getting resolved much sooner and easier than it sounds like! Keeping you in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Rachel! I really appreciate your kind thoughts! :)

      Delete
  24. Oh my gosh-sending so many hugs and healing thoughts your way!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm so sad to here this, Olya. I don't usually write many comments but I really love reading your blog posts. I'm sending you the best wishes and I hope the pain isn't too unbearable until you can finally have your surgery. I'm sure you have many people praying for you :) Stay strong, you can do this! Sending you a lot of love from Switzerland. -- Michelle xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your sweet words, Michelle! They mean so much to me. :)

      Delete
  26. Olya! I'm so, so sorry. This is horrible. My heart breaks for you that it's happening and such a weird time. Praying for you, friend, that everything would be able to work out sooner and better than you imagined!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Wow, that is horrible & such terrible timing! Ugh! I really hope that you are shown the right path & quicklike so you can get some relief. Poor girl. I'm thinking about you! Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am so sorry that you're going through this, but I'm so glad you don't have to go through it alone, and also that you do have options. I know none of them are perfect, but things will get better.

    ReplyDelete
  29. So many good thoughts to you, I'm sorry this is happening!

    ReplyDelete
  30. hugs lovely. sorry i am late to this post, but i'm glad you shared. hope everything goes okay, thinking of you, let me know if there is anything at all i can do xx

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, but I'm glad you're sharing it. It never hurts to have more good juju coming your way. I've had more than my share of surgeries over the past several years and the blogging community is so supportive. I'll be thinking of you and I hope all goes well.

    ReplyDelete
  32. As a fellow christian, I know that this is all part of God's plan. I talk openly on my blog about the illnesses that he has included in my plan too. It's hard to accept them when we don't know how everything will play out. I was supposed to have a right heart cath which got rescheduled 3 different times, but it worked out exactly the way God intended which was perfect for me. Whatever his plan is, he has you in mind and I hope it all goes well. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry about it too much. You can only control as much as he'll let you.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Stay brave! I had an abdominal myomectomy last year to remove several large fibroids that were also moving my organs around. Post surgery wasn't fun but luckily all went well. With that said, have faith that you will be ok and that you are in good hands! If you're moving to Texas soon, then yes, I would say wait until then if you can... Big hugs lady!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh girl, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this! The pain, the uncertainty, and the wait. All so difficult. I'm so glad you have answers and that there is treatment, but I know that this waiting period is going to be so difficult. You are still in my prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Sending you so many hugs. I am so sorry this is happening. Keep us updated! You're in my thoughts. <3

    ReplyDelete
  36. Olya, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this! It sounds so painful and I can only imagine how scary it must be to deal with this so far from home. If you do end up having the surgery in Chicago, PLEASE let me know if you need anything. I'm only a couple of hours away and would love to help out in any way :) Thinking and praying for you guys both!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh Olya! So sorry you're having to deal with this. Hugs from ocross the ocean. God is good and he will work it out!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I have a board called Love Michigan and Pinterest will send recommendation pins and that is how your blog arrived in my email. I don't think it was a coincidence. I have a Russian friend from Turkmenistan and I pray for her too and I hope you are open to prayer also. I will if you like. Get well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, LaVerne. I, like you, don't believe in coincidences. I am thankful for your prayers!

      Delete
  39. Olya, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I hope the surgery goes well once everything is settled in Texas. Your positive attitude in spite of so much pain and uncertainty is truly admirable. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so sweet, Jess! Thank you so much for your support. :)

      Delete

Thanks for reading my blog! I love hearing from you and respond to every comment. :) If you're a no-reply blogger, I will respond below your comment.